Monday, March 18, 2013

Questions...many questions...

Who am I? Am I normal? What is normal?

How did I get here? Where am I going?

What is wrong with me??? Why did 'all this' happen to me? If this is life, why does it often feel so rough?

Anger, bitterness, sadness, depression, emptiness, hopelessness, not feeling anything, longing, searching, hoping (wait..how can I both hope and feel hopeless???), trying, succeeding, failing, caring, loving, hurting, wanting to heal...Is this roller coaster of emotions I feel 'normal'? Like I asked earlier, WTF is normal?! 

Does everyone feel as fucked up as I do? Does everyone come from a dysfunctional home? How do I process all these feelings inside me? How do I work through the hurt and the pain and the suckiness of the past?

If I am to move forward, I need to look forward...but how?? Where do I go from here? If I can't even explain how I'm feeling in words, how am I supposed to expect anyone else to be able to help me?

How come, what happened in the past is still haunting me today and robbing me of today's joy?

How do I get rid of it? Move on? Be free? Be able to live without the demons of the past jumping out at any given time?

Is there hope? Can I be free? Will I ever be truly happy?

Writing things out has helped in the past...can it help me now??

If anyone reads this, will they have to go through therapy because of the psychological confusion I have unintentionally caused?

Was the above question my 'disclaimer'???

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