Depression sucks!!!

I am sad. I hurt; but I hurt inside. I can't tell you how I hurt, why I hurt, or when it started, but I can tell you as sure as I'm writing this, that I hurt. It's an ache that won't go away. It's pain like a lead foot on my chest. It makes it hard to breathe, burns my eyes, and makes me lose my appetite. It makes it very difficult to concentrate and takes away any desire to speak. In fact, it takes away the desire for anything. 

How can I go like this? I want to cry but I can't. I want to sleep but I can't. I want to hide in a dark room for a very long time till the hurt goes away. The hurt I can't explain to anyone. Very honestly, I can't explain it to myself either. 

I haven't felt this way for a long time. I remember this feeling and it scares me. It scares me because I don't know how long it will last or how I will work through it. I'm not sure how I will mask it and keep people from asking questions. I guess I will just take it one day at a time; one hour at a time; one moment at a time. 

I'll get through it. One way or another, I'll get through it. I'll survive. That's who I am. Then, one day, I will tell the story in the hopes it will be able to help others.